you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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