At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
