Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize