Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Randomize
