The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
