no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
