Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
My vagina is very pro this idea
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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