I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize
