Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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