I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize