Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I need to calm my uterus...
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize