you didnt know i had herpes?
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Randomize
