I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
