i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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