he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
When did angry sex become our thing?
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
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