you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
