I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
