If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
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