I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I need water and some morals
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
