It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
why do cheetos always look like penises
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
