Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
