No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
