Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize
