PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
