God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
