I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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