...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Just pee around me
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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