I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize
