STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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