I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
