I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize