He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
