was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
