I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize