this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
