k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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