Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
