Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
