My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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