Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
