i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
So many bounce houses so little time
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize