he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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