what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
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