True but thats because hes a fetus.
I want to make a zoo with you.
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
