you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
