I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
