He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
