i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize