People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Randomize
