Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
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