He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
What drink are we having for lunch?
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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