Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
