dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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