Everything about him screamed your future.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize
