Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
