8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
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