just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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