She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
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