The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
