I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Randomize
