absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Randomize
