garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Randomize
