Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
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