i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
