"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Sorry about my life...
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Randomize
