so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize