I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
