My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
she looked like the before picture.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
