Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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