im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
